So a little backstory about our morning routine. I wake up at about 5AM and get my day started with coffee my Bible and prayer. My husband then wakes at 6AM and at 6:30AM he wakes up or two boys. Most mornings are smooth when waking but gradually as the boys really wake up and get going things start to get chaotic. By this time my husband has already left for work. So I left on my own to finish getting the boys ready for school and preparing my workday.

So this particular morning, my little one Leo woke up in an amazing mood and ready to start his day. My morning was OK, but I was feeling very exhausted even though I slept all night. He gets dressed and brushes his teeth does his hair and start his chores. The boys have 2 to 3 chores early in the morning to get done such as feeding and watering are two dogs and two cats, taking out the trash and a quick sweep of their room. This consist of putting things that need to go into certain places in the room away, sometimes there’s nothing to be put away. Leo had gotten all his stuff done and he does take a little bit longer than I would like in the short amount of time that we have in the morning to get the things that needed done done. It was about five minutes till they had to leave for the bus and he decides he wants to make his lunch. By this time, I am already agitated because I had to tell him multiple times to do the things that needed to be done. And one of those things was doing his five minute Bible time. Really frustrated when that was the one thing that he really just didn’t want to do this morning. It hurt my heart, and I took it personally. But anywho, he went on to pack his lunch and was asking me to help him get this, make his sandwich, grab that, and I was so agitated by this time. I yelled at him, and I said “ I don’t like making your lunches. This is extra stuff that I don’t wanna have to do in the morning. This is why you eat lunch at school”. 

I know I know total epic mom fail and very unnecessary. But on top of that, I just double down. I continued to yell and be frustrated as I was helping make his lunch and my poor kid just continue to help grab his stuff and act like I wasn’t upset and continue to move forward. And of course I followed suit acted like what I did was not wrong and that he would get over it by the time he left. And of course, my sweet baby did he hugged me goodbye, told me he loved me and have a good day. I said the same thing back. But of course it didn’t in there. I started to think about it and was definitely feeling convicted. Then I sat down to avoid it and started scrolling Facebook reels. I came across a mama who was sitting in her car with her Bible, and broke down her fail of the day. Oh and you guessed it, God definitely convicted me slapped me right in the face. Her story was almost exactly my story. In her video, she states that she hates being late and that the rush of her morning with her child who was being a sloth, frustrated her, and how she got upset with her and the whole morning was a hot mess. They get in the car she gets her kids to school and then God hits her with “ was it worth being on time”? Then God hits me with the same question. Because my problem was that he wasn’t gonna be on time for the bus and I would then had to be inconvenience with starting my car, loading up my daycare children to take him to school. Then I realized it wasn’t worth it to start the day off the way we did just so he could be on time and I wouldn’t be put in a position of inconvenience.  then I realized how I missed the special moment. The moment of helping him make his lunch. How that little bit of time with him is fleeting, and  that I will never get back these moments. That he may never ask me again to help him make his lunch, because he may not need me anymore, IT BROKE ME!

So I took this mama’s advice and I repented to my son. I had to do it the same way she did. I had to message his teacher and ask his teacher for help and confess to his teacher my mom fail. Talk about being humiliated and humbled in minutes. 

Look the moral of the story is they are only little once, your time of inconvenience is for a short period. They grow up. Their need for you will lessen as the months, days, hours, minutes and seconds pass. So embrace them, embrace the mess, and the chaos of the day. Because one day it’s going to be so quiet, less messy and you will truly miss those moments.